Book of Questions: Memories of Leaving and Returning

Memories of Leaving and Returning

 

Every waking moment can be seen

as just another future memory.

Time is only a game we play.

We inside fortresses of solitude,

we make what we will to be.

We have the potential to create,

yet we only want to destroy.

Every person is a star. All life is sacred,

and there is no definition for life.

The sun follows the same path

from winter in deep coldness of earth

to summer in bright weariness of warmth,

but all times contain all possibilities.

 

Our mother earth is waiting for us to change,

our paths have long since separated,

there was a time when we practiced

magic that kept us from killing her,

that allowed us to thank and respect her.

Everyone knew their place in her scheme

among the communities of the sun and moon,

we were as gods aware of our true destinies,

to die only to return as another form of life,

thereby continuing the cycle of regeneration,

but now we have learned to exploit our true selves

for temporary gain and constant suffering

always under the illusion that we are in control.

 

Nature

 

The gold mistletoe wrapped around the oak

allowed our ancestors to see into the future.

Did they see their own end in our mother’s fall?

Or have we come too far away from their sight?

They could speak to the dead I am told,

linking the spiritual and material in their society.

How can we hope to remember their lessons?

How can we survive another millennium like this?

Now there is the illusion that we are separate,

 

there is a difference between creator and created.

We cannot hope to continue our path for long,

thinking that the earth belongs to us or anyone.

How can it be that she continues to sustain us,

despite the vile and toxic things we pollute with.

How much longer can we hope to survive?

Will the future bring any hope for a change?

Can we see the danger we have caused to be?

Should we not treat our land and water as gods?

For what else can we cling to in times of trouble?

 

Should we not trust our planet to take care of us?

Should we not take care of what is truly important?

We should not leave behind a wasteland for our children.

From the spirit of the world we have come to be.

The soul within our bodily shell is not merely ours,

we belong to a greater spirit which created us all.

The One is within and without us, and He-She-It

created this earth for us to protect and serve all life.

 

Sea of Possibilities

 

I cross over from one land to another

on the borderline between light and dark

 

figures of sisters and brothers appear

only to speak for a moment, turn their head,

and disappear. There is something here

they want but they cannot own.

 

The sea of possibilities, the land

on all sides and in all directions.

I feel I am exactly where I should be.

 

I never attach to a single country,

for all division is mere sophistry.

 

Rome

 

The eyes of the falcon god number three.

Astral travelers visit from time to time.

The tall, thin, spectral twin shall come

A beginning, middle, end.

The sacred air, water, and land shall be preserved.

By the power of alternate dimensions, realities, awareness,

Good, evil, balance.

The dark that came before shall come again.

Distraction appears when one is near the goal.

Leader, follower, country.

There are so many things I wish I could tell you.

Aum, Deva, Shanti.

Silver, sapphire, emerald.

Singing, starlight, moonbeam.

Airy mountain and great forest.

Words of power, names of significance.

The goal of the animalistic human is to grow smaller.

We are the destroyers and the preservers.

The lion within must constantly fight the hyena.

Every thought, idea, and god has its opposite.

Seeker, master, lover.

Universal mind unites both light and darkness.

 

Live Your Dreams: Unity of White and Black in the Night

 

I exist in two states of being at once

One spiritual, the other material

A Parabola of Life in all Its Forms

A Day of Trials and a Day of Contemplation

Each year of my life is divided into twelve equals one

 

Every day I live I am quite simply living a dream

sometimes happy, sometimes despairing

I awaken now and be as I will be

 

‘I found a place where spirits dwell

‘I walked down the path to the sea

‘I slept but did not die and woke to dark.

‘Today is the first that I will find my dreams.

 

– Song of the Sailor

 

i w

 

I can reach the state of ultimate consciousness

any time I want, and the only price is fear itself.

 

I have many layers I can pull off and on at will,

each one is not mine to control as I am a god.

 

And even gods struggle under the illusion of

freedom. There is always a sense of delusion.

 

I must integrate all of the layers as if I were

wearing a well made and expensive coat,

 

but just as much not caring about the details

of what I have been given because it is free

 

of illusion. And I can always go back for more.

All I have to do is remember the way I felt.

 

I now exist in both spiritual consciousness

and an understanding of the physical world

 

A fractal pattern eternally regenerating Life

in all its forms, days and nights of contemplation.

 

Each year is divided into twelve equal sections,

just as my life has been cut into different layers.

 

Every time I dream I am running through shadows,

doing all of the things I wish I could do in life.

 

I am now awake, and the power of the night

is not diminished though day seems supreme.

 

Godhead

 

My higher self speaks to me as through the aspect of

the beginning and creation itself, mother infinity

otherwise known as the Yin and Yang in Taoism,

the communion with the great mother force in Tantra

the ultimate goal of ceremonial magic

the final reward of Buddhism

the Oversoul in Hindi

the Super-Ego in Freudian concepts

or the collective unconscious in Jungian terms.

 

I have attempted to propitiate the Overmind by right mindfulness,

of all that is creation and nature, but I know that

I will have a long journey to prove my worth, and

I have come to realize that to reach my goal

I will have to die to my old life and be reborn

into a new one different from everything before.

 

Through the manifestation of creative force

we realize all life is sacred and worth saving

every living creature has consciousness

and through plants, animals, and humans

God dreams, God awakens, God experiences

the totality of the universal consciousness.

 

A baby was born premature to a young newlywed mother who had

only just finished high school. The young baby, a boy, was wrapped

in an electric blanket at the hospital and expected to live. His mother

was not allowed to see her baby until his situation stabilized.

At the very hours when the baby needed his mother’s body more than

anything in the world, he was kept in a sterile

environment under the care of outstanding nurses who were simply

overworked and burdened by a patriarchal revision of their

natural roles as midwives. This crisis situation would form the

very foundation of the boy’s mental problems. He would not

have reached the age of three months if it were not for the

intervention of Brahma when she channeled His spirit into

her own body and into the young child, who had been crying

constantly for several days with a quite serious case of Sorrow

that could in fact kill him if it did not abate soon, which it did.

After the healing transference of divine energy into the child,

his eyes were wide open and not afraid of death in the least,

though there would be a time when sorrow would lead to darkness

and he would grow back into the light from whence he came.

 

Brahman

 

The one supreme reality, the universal consciousness.

 

Because people do not understand this, they turn to evil and

an equally twisted sense of good to justify their rebellion

from the Supreme Being.

 

It does not matter by what name you call your God,

for He is not the letters H-E, but something beyond

your limited awareness and my limited awareness.

 

But when my awareness is lifted to Godhead,

I find that all rebellion is futile and only serves to make the

learning take longer.

 

He rose in the East and brought light to your life, didn’t He?

 

It is exactly midnight, and the Vision is over!

 

So ends the lesson—go with peace!

 

No apologies and no regrets.

No compromise of moral support—

No fear because of the Lady In The Lake!

Brahma is the beginning, in the true universal consciousness,

and I have been chosen as worthy, as have all life forms,

and we can all bask in His ineffable presence, or simply

enjoy the electronic sparks, for they are the very same thing.

The true scientist at all times proves the existence of the Supreme.

 

Matter \ Energy \ Identity

 

We are all one matter, fused in the cosmic forge

of time, and we are always directed by a Supreme

Consciousness—distance is only an illusion.

 

I have reached the edge of enlightenment. Matter

and time and space is only an illusion. There is

only the universal consciousness.

 

The title of my autobiography would be Gnostic Transcendental Mystic Christian Anarchist Magician Hindu White Tantra Buddhist Personalist working towards samadhi.

 

My great aunt is an incarnation of the Virgin Fertility Goddess of

Mother Earth.

 

There will always be periods of despair in which everything

seems meaningless, but it is only contrast.

 

Will you continue to play the game, or do you get off the ride?

Is this where your quest for knowledge, wisdom, and understanding

ends? Is the universal consciousness your answer to all

of life’s problems? Or there is any good that comes from

holding your hand over a small heart and feeling the

warm electrostatic current from fur against the sensory

instruments that you call your palms? There is force/ power!

 

Self-indulgence is a sign of contrast to the purity of moksha.

 

One would be wise to remain open to the possibility that

everything is connected, Evangelical and Non-Conformist

alike, and we are all able to access the spiritual healing

of mother earth, Hagia Sophia, the Virgin Queen. Moksha is all.

 

God Is Good

 

There is such a thing as Divine Choice; the universal consciousness

can interact with the individual spirit on a personal

level that is all encompassing. There is no reason to rebel

against the Goddess because it feels so good to belong completely

to gold and yet rise above it to access the vast pure ideas that

encompass the Godhead. There is a way to receive telepathic

communication from the Godhead, Brahman Deva.

 

Hindu has to be the oldest and most successful religion, except

that illusory individual being is hampered by the very same contrast that serves to

define human religious experience. Fear is only an illusion,

yet it can be powerful for those with eyes clouded by hate.

 

An avatar of Supreme Light and Beneficence gave me

the very nectar of the gods which has caused me to glimpse

the true Golden Dawn, or Universal Truth, in the form

of a fractal wave expression of all human consciousness

as only a tiny role in a cosmic expression of the very

same fractal wave pattern. Strictly speaking, there is no

true difference between a chair and your bottom except

the associations between material and a particular aspect of the universal

 

Consciousness happens. You realize that there is no difference

between your hand and the pen you are using to write

this down except that your mind has associated

together from the Spiritual Realm where everything is pure

White and Bright Colors, and there is no such thing

as Fear, and all that ails you is only a reflection

of an ancient dream of evil that cannot be gotten rid

of without scrapping the whole creation and destruction

pattern that is absolutely necessary for the universal

 

The Eternal Moment

 

The Consciousness of the Universe seems to resemble a Go

game between two ancient masters who are only emanations

of a Supreme Being that is above all moral concerns and

instead is only interested in maintaining the balance through

constant unseen manipulation that encompasses the human

spirit and constantly reminds those who have received

the Calling that there is a way to achieve universal

peace and harmony. [You who are reading this are chosen.]

Earth and Sky, Brahma divided between us, has chosen well.

 

Even in Hollywood, the laws of physics demand at least a few

alternative positions from the universal awareness \ consciousness.

 

You cannot hope to exist without suffering, but there

is not a way to stop it from happening. You are just going to have

to deal with the pain, and whatever you do, do not fear the

White Lady of the Lake! That glowing reality of your dreams

can be accessed at any time you like!

 

I am just as much a Taoist philosopher as a writer or Hindu

or Magician, and the differences between the purest states of being

has a circumference of zero. All things and all places are connected

at all times. Nothingness is the doorway to salvation. Jesus is

only one-twelfth of the universal consciousness yet his followers

do not realize that he was only a fraction of the totality of

existence, and his suffering was and was not the suffering of Godhead.

 

When I access my crown chakra and witness Godhead, I am sometimes

bothered by visual and aural hallucinations, but they are only distractions

for they are only temporal, and I am meant to transcend the need for illusion.

True perception is not an illusion, however. We can experience true wonders

and great miracles of consciousness witnessed outside of self’s delusions.

 

Absolute Truth

 

Through the mud and the waste and the negativity we find the

way to higher mysteries that will eventually lead to Moksha,

awareness of universal truth and universal beauty.

Life is beauty and only takes a single act of will to become

perfection, a constant state that is constantly changing.

 

Three days of truths and then there is Truth.

 

I saw the Golden Dawn

I heard the astral bell

& experienced universal consciousness

 

These are three noble truths to live, die, and exist by (words spoken out of darkness)

 

Perfection is the constant dynamic between Contrast and Truth by which an individual can reach his or her own Godhead.

 

Remember This State Well, for it will set you free,

take you out of evil times.

 

When I am One with the Universe, I can write poetry.

 

When I am bogged down by sectarianism, I am not happy.

 

An aspect of the God \ Goddess can choose the consort He \ She wants—

 

At first I thought I had been waiting for a teacher, but

I realized on New Year’s Eve & early New Year’s Day,

that I had not been ready for my teacher until she arrived.

Now I realize World is my teacher,

all men and all women are aspects of the Supreme Being,

sometimes known to me when time and space are unified.

universal consciousness, light and dark.

 

Realization

 

My friend, I am most certainly on Queer Street again,

this forest path draws me ever onward

toward what goal I know not yet

I have found courage

one day I will grasp the mane of a wandering lioness.

 

My dreams have become half my life—I perceive the signals

reality not cleaved in two as before my awakening!

I have yet to finish—

The Seeker is now whole, and yet constantly learning

 

Half is cut in two,

Aware and awake are one, so

Teachers can lift the energy

 

‘When the student is prepared the master appears.’

I have distractions

 

‘When you are ready you will find another

Stable happy spirit,

a being of light and dark.

 

Embracing the West and East and North and South

The Dark Lord of Night is no stranger, he lives next door.

The Sight is all and no division can be Union.

 

The truth is hard to explain. (It is so easy to get distracted from it).

Anything can be explained in words or thought as it needs to be.

 

“I have seen the future and her name is within your heart.”

– Mysterious Voice Overheard At Night

Your Presence Is Beautiful

 

Through the darkness I come to light

You are my hope that comes after sorrow

Your heart is full of the universal compassion

Thank you for existing as who you are

You are representative of the divine mother

You are a symbol for what has been missing in my life

You contribute to the evolution of humanity

Towards God realization which is transcendence

You have the ability to access your true identity

Through awareness of your soul and service to others

Your own higher self leads you back to the source

To the pure relationship of the Absolute Truth

You can take your final reward and leave behind suffering

There is no difference in quality between you and the infinite creator

And in my eyes dimmed by ignorance I only see separation

Thus I eternally struggle and seek truth outside of myself

But if I only knew that it was inside me always

I could be happy in eternal bliss, truth, and knowledge

While I am here on Earth I must live within illusion

But I am learning to transcend mundane reality

I am not the one doing the work, but only a channel

I am only a vessel for the energies of the Lord

The corruption of ignorance is rampant in this world

But I can always be connected to the source

I cannot even blink without the blessing of Krishna

Though from youth I was taught to worship the senses

Now I know God lives both inside and outside me

I am eternally within and yet differentiated from it

While I am here on Earth I have the opportunity to remember

The peace and bliss that I experienced with the Goddess

You have given me inspiration and love which is transcendent

I have found solace in the space sanctified by your presence

There is peace of mind as I meditate on your hardwood floor

My humble attempt at writing is now connected with your life

Your kindness has helped motivate me out of darkness

To participate in an entirely new world of light and hope

There is such compassion emanating from your presence

I can leave behind the toxicity of the world outside

My ego has found the strength to surrender here

No longer am I a slave to anger, lust, and fear

My heart is warmed and energy spreads through my body

Now I can notice all of the beautiful signs of God everywhere

This inspiration will eventually lead me to enlightenment

I can enjoy the limited amount of time the creator has given me

The birds are singing in the early morning now as I write this poem

The sound of occasional cars passing is far away from where I am

You will return within the hour but I feel the need to leave behind

The peace inside me that you are responsible for and the smell of incense

I want to follow my destiny and not blindly meet my fate

I no longer need to look for unconditional love

You are responsible for this personal discovery

That God’s love is all-powerful and all-forgiving

I thought that I would never find the truth of my life

But now I realize the answers were inside me always

I have tried to convey to you how much you have given me

Who I am and who I can become is now a brighter possibility

Partly through association, partly through presence in my heart

You have shown me everything that was missing in my search

Spiritual fulfillment is now indwelling and not a cause of suffering

I have found that my higher self closely resembles your kind voice

When I look into your eyes, I see your atomic soul burning bright

And also the oceanic love of the one creator constantly guiding you

I see the presence of God in the entire world and within myself

You have awakened something new and yet old as creation

Within my body, mind, and soul there is your presence

There is no way for me to explain the bond between us

My own unconditional love is the one thing I can give you that is mine

In the transcendent spiritual reality we are always together

The windows of your soul reflect the cosmic source of life

Beyond personality and vicissitudes of time you are familiar to me

We will always be close in the spiritual sky from which we came

We are both wish-fulfilling trees here to give everything of ourselves

Our meeting was pre-determined by the cosmic consciousness

It was enough that you smiled at me that first day our eyes met

It made my day brighter and brought me closer to mystery

And the memory of that moment will continue to bring me joy

Truth, once revealed, can never be fully concealed again

I now believe in my individual soul as my true self

My life has been spent in constant seeking for my true self

But it only took a single moment of realization to find it

And then my entire being was at peace and love became

The link between my soul within and the spirit outside

It is only the limitations of my false ego that I see in the world

When I think that the Lord is not everywhere and in control of everything

My concern is that by loving you unconditionally I might want to stay here

But no matter what happens I have found a certain heaven with you

 

Nowness

 

Yesterday, the world came to an end

and today the trees are dancing in the wind.

 

I have awoken as if from a dream to find I am ready

but there are endings are there are endings.

 

I am not myself, for I am everything and nothing,

once again I realize fear is only illusion.

 

There is something which can only be pointed to

yet its reality is within the experience of every moment.

 

Bliss never changes but we sometimes lose sight

And when we least expect God we breathe in and out.

 

Home

 

Defending the shore with statues of bunny rabbits

My hand became the sigil of the Awakened One

Three layers of geometric patterns

Blue light emanating from my palm

And I had to ask my dark half not to destroy my world

He pursued me as a Fire Spirit but I lost him in the Earth.

I flew through the air, over mountains

I circled the mountain top where a man in white taught yoga.

 

World Peace

 

Love and peace flow from within my heart

My body is only a vessel for that warmth

 

There is no way for me to help others

If I do not first find balance inside myself

 

If we can only learn to see behind the veil

As it trembles we realize God is all around us

 

In constant ecstasy with the one creator

I find peace within my own heart

 

The sunflowers will bloom in beautiful explosions

Upon the graves of all the forgotten victims of war

The Edge of an Old World

I stood on a rock outcropping

and listened to rain drops fall

all around me was green life

and I raised my arms to fly

 

I could have jumped over

my desires and ego dissolved

I realized this was only a dream

but I was not the one dreaming

 

I felt my head glowing warmth

a golden light spread outward

from within my spine bliss flowed

the world ended and began again

 

Supreme Love of Nature and Beauty

with each breath I experienced God

I became one with the Spirit of Life

there was no longer any worry or doubt

 

In that divine presence of forest

there is yet peace eternal for me

Decision

My neutral mind knows there is no duality

All that I see divided is only an illusion

How else but through this can I see?

I look beyond limitations and find the infinite.

 

My higher self is my body’s master.

It is my gift from God’s creation.

All living beings vibrate with me

Though I have forgotten how to perceive the truth.

 

There is always a hope for the future now

Just as the past becomes a beautiful memory

Only by living in the moment of awareness

Can I hope to escape the trap of fear

 

Labyrinths of self-made suffering are built

By my false ego attached to the material world

And the monsters I meet inside myself

Are only symbols of what I need to set free.

 

There is no God but God and the soul is His servant

All of us are reflections of the grand design of spirit.

Universal Mother

You are the source of all the beauty I receive

Wisdom, learning, and purification are yours to give

All that I most treasure in my life

Comes from your blissful presence

 

You are the one who comes to me in my dreams

The voice of love that shows me the way

You are continually at play with me

I have faith in you and I will not fear

 

You appear bathed in golden light

You are the profound silence within

Your cosmic vibration is the only sound

My greatest desire is to serve you

 

When I am desperate and suffering

The only thing that is important is your love

You have been with me from the beginning

And you will remain with me until the end

 

There will come a time when the distance between us

Will reveal itself completely as the illusion it is

 

The First Step

For world peace there is no tomorrow, only today

If we want our children to be happy and living

We must stand up and do everything we can

Against the forces of violence and anger

 

People are never our enemies, only their ignorance

We are the ones responsible for our own actions

God has given us all the tools we need to act

The third world war of this age has not yet come

 

The hydrogen bombs cannot defeat internal peace

Our dreams do not have to be filled with destruction

We can all affect the bonds of our creation

We have the power to pray and disarm

 

A new age of peace and consciousness is dawning

There is nothing we have to do except listen

God’s plan for change will work through us

It is our hope to make the transition easy

 

There is no reason for us to be selfish now

We are at the horizon of tranquility

 

The Power of Surrender

Our lives are only given true meaning by service to others

If I am selfish I cannot help but rot from within

 

We are given the opportunity to lose our fear completely

We can find existence without envy, lust, or anger

 

If we are empty the universe will fill us with blessings

But if we cannot let go of materiality we will have nothing

 

There is a science for the fulfillment of our soul’s destiny

We have to sacrifice false ego for our greater good

 

The creator of the universes knows how to take care

Death has no power over those who know their self

 

Only in complete surrender to the universal love energy

Can we ever hope to be stable in personal happiness

 

We cannot wait for some future day that will never come

We can reestablish union with the supreme controller

 

Each and every day we must renew our bond with that force

We are the balance and the hope for the world around us

 

There is no other way than surrender to be with the Lord

Once we give everything we will gain everything

 

Our bodies are only temporary vessels for our soul

Every breath is a gift and we should remember that

 

If we go deep within ourselves and dismiss false ego

We will find the cosmic light of God-consciousness

 

The Golden Age

Love and no separation between God and humanity

Man and woman together without exploitation

 

The white light of the moon revered as beauty itself

The golden sunlight washing us all in joy

 

Every possibility of existence present now

The divine spark of creation realized anew

 

Humanity living in balance with itself and nature

Our awareness expanding beyond the universe

 

No longer the illusion of duality and division

The river of our soul feels its part in the ocean

 

Life, love, and compassion no longer abstractions

Things as they are and not how we wish them to be

 

All Is One (But Different)

Every system is based on the same foundation

Every sage draws from one well of inspiration

 

Each human being has the ability to access it

Each living creature draws its life from breath

 

Our father in heaven is the creative source

Our mother in the earth is pure devotion

 

If we love ourselves truly as a servant

We will find that God is within every cell

 

If we serve every living creature as our self

Blessings of the one creator will flow

 

When I go deep inside myself

I find the vibration of God there

 

There is only one force in the universe

We call the Supreme unconditional love

 

The veil of illusion causes us to fear the truth

This material world is temporary but real

 

Most of us are living in a reflection of reality

The Absolute Truth escapes our conscious thought

 

If we approach it with a humble surrender

We can overcome any obstacle to reach it

 

We are destined to learn the truth in the end

Even through many lifetimes of ignorance

 

The New Age

The iron age of misfortune is well on its way

I am swiftly using up all of my patience

 

Love, peace, and prosperity are very scarce

Yet there remains an inner vision of change

 

I must unceasingly chant the name of God

My body is a temple but I do not honor it

 

I am living in my own dream on borrowed time

My life is spent within the perfect imagination

 

My teacher passes divine information to me

Though I am unqualified to receive it

 

Everything that ever was or shall be

Is contained within the sleeping body of the Lord

 

Consciousness is my gift from the creator

I should use it to advance its will and not my own

 

I have a mind to experience the cosmic nature

But my false ego limits my perspective

 

The seeds of change were sown hundreds of years ago

Each incarnation of God restores me to dharma

 

The way for me to find what I am looking for is clear

I have to associate myself with those who know God

 

By serving those dear to the Lord I can become better

My eternal devotion transcends the current situation

 

I worship only one God and He is also She

I do not always recognize this essential unity

 

I am trying to reconcile myself with the Great Spirit

There is no other way for me to heal myself

 

The supreme personality is man and woman

From this unity emanates the universal cosmic energy

 

Ennui

 

Solitude of modern times affords me great comfort,

Everything has happened for a reason,

Good or bad, right or wrong, all the same

Through poetry I have found freedom

And a feeling of flying through the air.

In the ethers are unknowable dimensions

Beyond mere sight, sound, taste,

Castles ruled by light and darkness,

Never settling for a mediocre action or thought.

There are such few real people left,

So many have gone to death already,

Or else never regained the memory of being alive.

Their existence is marked by sadness,

Hidden from the world of men and women,

Unable to interfere with the progression of modern civilization.

 

One Very Long Evening In the International Students Dorm, Leiden, 2003

 

In the blackness of night my fear grew into paranoia

On the night the fire alarm went off for hours

Mary slept by my side without waking, apparently

Immune to the high pitched screaming sound

Which permeated the airways in the hallway

And left a droning squealing noise in each room.

I asked her why she did not want to wake up

And she answered that she did not want to live

In a world in which the place she was sleeping

Burned to cinders while she was there too.

And besides, there was no fire to speak of.

Nobody came to turn off the alarm or even check

To make sure nobody had perished in the flames,

Which was entirely possible in the event of a fire,

Considering that none of the rooms had a fire escape

And the rooms on the higher floors would be completely cut off.

 

Giota was the only other person on my floor

Who could not sleep through the droning noise.

We investigated, commented endlessly on the inconvenience

Neither of us able to shut out the prominent harbinger of our demise.

On the floor below us, the second, there was no noise.

The same was true on the floor above us, so we accepted

Our fate as having to live through this nuisance until morning.

Apparently the fire department or the manager neither had enough reason

To come here in the middle of the night for any reason,

Even a fire alarm, which was simply not hooked up to a notification

For anyone in a position of authority to help in the event of emergency.

 

While we waited for the noise to finish, but neither of us thinking it would stop,

We talked about all of the bad things associated with living where we were.

I had just shown her and everyone else that lived next to me a letter to the owner,

An international corporation dealing in temporary housing for international students.

The fact that none of us actually came from the Netherlands, except one girl

Who lived in a completely different building, and did not even have to pay for her room

Seemed to give the corporation the sense that they could get away with anything.

There was only one toilet that worked properly, and it smelled of rotten oysters.

The malfunctioning one could not even be accessed on account of a biohazard sign.

There were thankfully two sinks that worked in the bathroom, but we had to share

All of the facilities with 13 other young people just on our floor—even the kitchen

Became a nightmare of crossed paths and frustration during peak meal times.

People were able to change their schedules in order to avoid the most obvious times

And everyone began to operate in such a way that they were able to avoid others mostly,

Though we truly did have a sense of comradery in that we were stuck here together.

 

What came before the water will come again

 

What existed before the creation will exist after the creation is no more.

I saw the Leviathan swimming in the ocean of infinite chaos.

I sat with saints on a small outcropping of solid ground

As the universe floated by, ancient dragons larger than stars,

We were travelers and workers in dream, left to witness

Chaos before and after creation. We were the keepers of story,

Workers in light and white magic, no need for a church building,

Only the small piece of dry land we were given,

A single tree bent over the edge of the world.

We are all going to die, but there is no reason to fear this reality.

When death is, life is not; when life is, death is not.

 

A Fool In Love Again

 

When I heard Mary say that she missed me,

My whole life seemed to make sense.

I was in love with her and she was in love with me,

Though she could not admit it to me.

True love so passionate does not happen to everyone,

And I feel exceptionally fortunate to have experienced it.

 

When I heard her ask if I was her sugar-poo,

I said that I wanted to be.

 

She said she wanted to wear her kangaroo shoes to me,

Run to me and jump into my arms with them on her feet.

 

She said she wanted me to be her sugar daddy,

To take care of her. And I said “I want to be.”

Absolute Truth

The mystery lies inside the heart of light and darkness.

Inside us is the key to understanding our true identity.

 

The Oracle and the Guru are voices in the core of our being.

Everything and nothing is important to the cosmic vibration.

 

Love and kindness, strength and justice originate in the void.

The secret of emptiness is that we belong to the absolute truth.

 

The unborn and undying transcendental personal Godhead

gives us our dignity, character, and grace every single day.

 

God is no longer just a concept to belong to the false ego.

Krishna is the luminous misunderstanding of suffering.

 

I am the Spirit. You are too. There is no other God but Unity.

The cosmic vibration reverberates throughout our bodies.

 

Our feet and our hands are the instruments of dancing Shiva.

Our hips and our faces are openings to secret power.

 

We bow in ecstasy to our higher selves, which is the Guru.

The God is above all manifestations of dualistic rationality.

 

Because I am nothing I am everything. I bow and I thank

the Merciful Lord for granting me a vision of Absolute Truth.

 

I am unworthy to understand the unknowable personality.

I am blessed to be able to live in such a beautiful creation.

 

We have the opportunity to surpass the bonds of materiality.

We should surrender completely to the God within and outside us.

Anticipation

On just such a day as this sunny clear skied afternoon

We may have the opportunity to meet God’s messenger

 

Who can tell how the weather will change in the future?

What storms may come today may be followed by sunshine

 

We are all a part of the original divine cosmic energy

And each of our various roles fulfill His and Her wishes

 

Though the One Creator’s work is very subtle and hidden

We can read between the lines of reality and see perfection

 

We will never see the full majesty of the whole without God’s grace

Because absolute knowledge is not meant for the proud, lustful, or angry

 

And without the purification of an open heart and unconditional love

We would simply collapse under the weight of divine realization

 

On this day shall we see God through one of His and Her servants

A man, woman, animal, or plant can be our teacher for now

 

And then the undiminished light of God can shine through

Your body like a channeled supernova so bright you are giddy

 

By touching the teacher’s feet we offer our humble gift of Love

And in turn we are blessed with the grace of the True Guru

 

By accepting the reality of the Guru’s divinity we open

The doors of the infinite universe within our own heart

 

And all of the skepticism which has kept us from truth

Shall simply evaporate as if all our suffering was only a bad dream

 

Relief

 

A wave washes over me

From three years of sorrow, mourning

For the lost love of my youth.

Though these days are grey,

I have the memory of happiness:

And solitude affords me great comfort.

Tomorrow

The sky opens and all the prophets

Who predicted the end will finally

Have reason to stop waving their arms.

 

I will be buried in the ground, or burnt

To ashes; there is no escaping my destiny.

There is no way for me to say I’m not ready

There are no free passes, no turning our heads away.

When I was driving and the rain beat down

I thought for sure that I would die,

That in a just universe I should die.

I pulled through without a scratch,

But I was just delaying the inevitable.

The wheel spins and more come and go—

 

We all hope for salvation. Because is not used across

That dark river. In the piles of skulls and lives,

People prefer not to think about the past or future.

 

There is no time passing or sunlight, only silence

It is much better to forget about entitlements & regrets

In forgetting, we find simple peace in new existence.

The Voice in the Darkness

What of the demon who hides and whispers

Secrets to me in the dark?

Its words are deceit and I know better

 

But none of that matters when

The green dragon comes to call

And my soul rises into the ether

 

And overhead I fly across the dark moonless sky,

Breaking the clouds in pieces and not caring

About the damage I am causing to sleeping children below

 

So be it: I will fade away and another will take my place

Eager to stake his claim on the art

Of propitiating the dragon spirit

 

He will find the same fate as me,

The demon and the angel will gnaw at his soul,

And he will long to break free,

 

But he will not before the end of time.

 

The clouds are silent milky white and succulent

I open my mouth and float through them without fear

Of falling or death or anything else in the universe.

 

The Observer

 

An old man walks through the city

fat with a long gray beard,

dragging his broken leg.

He has a faithful god tonight,

in the body of the full moon.

A star explodes in the sky.

He sees the light and stops,

staring at the sky and he

thinks it this seems familiar

and hasn’t this happened

already? Will it happen

again? Long after we cease

walking through the city

at night with the dogs

and cats fighting each other.

the not-so-secret face of god

who dares the secret of the human heart?

man and woman are opposed yet the same

her chalice is vessel to his seed

even now growing from her tilled earth

 

the octogenarian couple together for fifty years

understand the secret face of God for they are

weary with the life force of this world

their blood yearns to be reunited with the dark

 

The Found One

 

Last night I dreamed of the time right after sunset in the Smoky Mountains,

when rosy tinged clouds die away and night spreads its wings over the world.

Two haggard men lowered your casket into a hole. All was quiet then.

Your brother left a rose for your body to rest with underground.

Your parents sat quietly in their car, waiting for the time to leave.

Black sparrows flew in formation on their way into the mountains you love.

I imagined I heard your voice as a gust of wind “Take care of her, and don’t fuck up.”

All I can say is that I will try, and thank you for showing me the way to die.

 

The phone rang in the early morning; I quickly hung up

Without waiting to find out who might be calling so late.

Fifteen minutes later, I made scrambled eggs while your twin sister showered.

Mary wanted to be clean before she entered the hospital.

I cracked the shell and two yolks slipped out into the mixing bowl.

I mixed the yellow and white together until there was no difference.

 

We talked about other things while we waited for a taxi: children, love, and money.

Dawn opened into red tinged clouds strung like fluffy pillows across the sky.

It was one of the few and happy times when the sky seems to stretch out forever.

The grass in front of my apartment rejoiced and soaked up the first rays of the sun.

A red-breasted bird leaped from his perch and soared on a gust of wind over my head.

Time slowed for both of us, things felt like they really weren’t happening—

Any moment we could wake up and everything would be as it was before.

 

We saw you in the critical ward, on a stretcher with tubes tied to machines blowing air into your lungs. I dared not come closer to you, hissing and struggling to hold onto life. Painkillers coursed through your veins, and the poor man’s heroin. I hope to God

you didn’t feel any pain. Mary touched the brittle skin on your arm; spoke your name.

 

We joined your family in this cruel reality of loss and foreboding in the waiting room (private for the hospital wanted to show it cared for critical patients’ families)

Some prayed to save you, others that God would stop your pain, but we all prayed. Your father had not even begun to grieve. When he told us he was happy to see his son,

we knew what he meant. Perhaps smoke inhalation was the Lord’s way of a blessing.

 

Mary and I drank coffee outside in the courtyard, where the sun was still shining

and the birds were still singing; we think others should feel differently now,

nobody seems to notice the change except us. It’s eight in the morning.

Through a few hundred feet of cement, the you I had known did not breathe,

but you were a part of the great breath that surrounds us all as the spirit.

This just was. Even a star must die. Perhaps my own end will now come easier.

 

The First of May

The tree in my back yard explodes

And from the bark flows rivers of blood

Turning from blue to red as it touches

The scorched air and the scorched earth

 

The blood nourishes the earth and

Moisture spreads into the tree’s roots

Tiny purple flowers grow from the marsh

Now underneath the branches of the tree

Life

we are just a gust of wind

a flame rising up the tree

a wave crashing against

a shore of a limitless ocean

 

we are just a particle

or wave of energy

in an infinite universe

that is waiting to be discovered

 

we can understand it all

find peace and wisdom

if we but truly offer

our self to the fire

 

Starlight

 

Up there, gargantuan balls of energy burning millions of degrees

Down here, dead maple leaves falling and turning in the wind

through trees laden with an evening’s rain on the hillside.

 

All of these falling petals are gifts from the stars. The dog’s nose twitches

as she sniffs the cold air. The world seems quiet from the top of this hill,

only an occasional passing car to break the silence. I count the lights,

 

give up after forty-one. I look up one last time before going inside.

In lights lie the fuel to burn a billion years but then they will die

A tiny blossoming of white opens with a dark circle expanding in the center.

 

In that space a billion years ago, a star has seeded heavy metal particles

that will form with a light brighter than all the stars in our galaxy

for only a moment and then the dark comes back to hide the mystery.

 

Sing, Sing, Sing!

 

The insidious music of love

Come to rest in hearts bound

To the always dying, ever born

Lives of saints and madmen

Burning for sin or apathy

Convinced the world is about to end

 

We who are already dead, we who clutch

To the riches of our pleasant illusion

Unaware, unthinking of the desperation

That hope coincides. Peace is what we hope

But we can never have peace as long as we

Fail to see the bars of our prison.

silence

 

silence matters most to those who

cannot apprehend life’s mysteries

without withdrawing from distractions

we who claim silence as a religion

cannot search for any other mystery

we who lie awake in the darkness

thinking of the sorrow in a life

we who must go on living when

all we have known lies in ashes

understand the mysteries of silence

we are working toward understanding

every beautiful day of our lives

we have learned to put away our fear

we have learned to keep going

towards some far away destiny

beyond all of our assumptions

to which we have become attached

Second Thoughts

I walk over a long sloping valley

the sun sets on the grassy hill

its light parts the clouds in a burst of color

with specks of red and orange

then a dark shape passes over my eyes

a black shadow draping the sky

then it is all gone and the moon appears

resting in the sky, neither waxing nor waning

Venus Morning Star appears shining

as it crosses the crescent moon.

Sanctuary

When your soul is lonely,

and nobody seems to care,

come to the secret place at night,

between the bones of elephant gods

and the remains of ancient cities,

the lilac is blooming magnificent.

We will give you your fill in love,

all you must do is will it to be true.

You will find a new kind of peace,

a feeling that you cannot describe,

in the depths of your secret heart,

for the rest of your days and nights,

here in the mountains of the planet,

under the sun and dark blue sky.

Prophetic Dream

dark figures of human beings

visit my dreams to hide

from floating through air

and what might lie beyond

the bands of sorrow in human life

 

they tie themselves to the earth

through suffering, illusion, self-deceit

a few escape by cutting the rope

clasping tightly to a golden thread

that has fallen from a purple cloud

 

a million years from now

men and women will still

be readying their boats

to sail across the only sea,

to the land of sun and moon,

beyond the eastern winds.

Only Another Step

 

We must forget the family we have left behind,

because it is for them that we are alone,

 

it is for them that we go alone on this journey.

No one can help us at the final moment,

 

when everything we have ever been or could

have been flashes before our consciousness,

 

our path leads us alone through the wilderness

confronting demons and angels along the way,

 

and the universe, always the universe,

infinitely diverse and beautiful even when cruel,

 

lies before us as our naked spirit goes forth

in search of another great adventure.

 

Lovely

How could I let distraction make me forget that even

a star has evil, dark, despair, just as good, light, joy.

‘There is good and evil in each individual fire.’

The turning of a simple phrase, though revealing darkness,

is nothing except a reaction by the dark half of the human.

 

At the quantum level we are all connected

by interaction between giant furnaces burning bright,

dark, and calmly in the midst of a vast sea, the land

only the place where we happen to be staying for a time.

That is all I need to know to be happy within myself.

 

Clear light, illumination of mind, body, and spirit.

Nothing is beyond the sacred black veil, without yet

despite the eyes of the falcon, burning bright lights,

ourselves naked, joyful, fear only misunderstanding.

The presence of the Hidden Lord is no longer secret.

 

Love has no bearing on my propensity for despair.

The strong take and give to make love or war,

the weak wait for the easy time, illusion upon illusion.

The joyful naked children of the moon dance and sing.

They have no need for the sorrow of life and death.

 

Hidden master, teacher of the soft voice, creator,

the sea and the land belong to your body and spirit.

Let us rejoice in love, unity, even victims of murder,

By land, sea, air we search for your light in the dark.

Through the dark, we find our way to the mysteries.

 

More Light

 

I imagine the soundtrack to the death of a star

something like Beethoven’s ninth symphony

at high volume with ear firmly pressed to speaker

in their final sacrifice, the huge stars

give us radiant jewels of heavy metals

from the core of their being

this more than any other event

inside or outside of human history

amazes me

 

small ones die peacefully

big ones grow hot not cold

and collapse inward as the mirror

of their birth

a fraction of a second later exploding

in a brilliant stream of energy releasing

more light than all other stars in its galaxy

energy disperses throughout the universe

a permeating spray of rich metals

impossible to create without

that aged star’s death

 

meditation (part 1)

 

there is beauty in our future

our mother gives birth to us

our father lets loose his storms

 

we are part of the world

the dust and ash and earth

the sky filled with stars

 

my dreams set free

on a tiny cloud

belonging to everything

I paint the hills

 

I paint the hills & mountains with my mind

The watercolor paint blends together in red, blue, & purple

From the vague outline of stones in the hillside

Form the eyes & bodies of large toads—

Wise beyond any living toad, any living creature

Water, saturating rain, a great deluge falls upon the hills & spreads my colors

Down the sides, color spilling into color beyond the consistency necessary for purity—

Purity is impossible and purity is undesirable

The only way I am going to enjoy this mess of color is if I learn to accept them mixing

If I allow the water to spread the colors down the sides of all hills & mountains

Down to the makings of the ocean & the dry places of the lowlands

 

Future Song

 

a universe contained in numbers

each one or zero or two contains

some small segment of reality

 

branching out in such a complex pattern

that just happens to mirror our daily lives

the choices we make, the time we spend

 

the focus of our time here on earth

as if we were watching every moment

repeated in thousands of different ways

 

sometimes something impossible appears

the mystical realm beyond society

the borders between nature and spirit

 

something beyond ordinary experience

poking up its head for a look around

our gods and goddesses serve us

 

at that threshold between life and death

where the living can meet the dead

and we can tell our stories together

 

where the darkness and the light mingle

we who partake of the forbidden fruit

chanting at the shore of the Western Sea

 

no black tears but only tears of happiness!

a canvas as a body of a lover grown warm

and the remainder of your parts slides away

 

a secret sigh and a turned glance, a smile even

the mystic dimension above us surrounding

defining our lives facing north, past all the waste

 

Flight

The gatekeeper of souls

between the pure & rotting corpses

all have the disease but some choose

the doors are all locked

but the pariahs are strong

and want to come inside our sanctuary

the pure ones run to the roof

we fly to the northern wasteland,

to the western seas & marshes

on a veranda we find weapons

I use my cloak as a parachute

now there is only us few left

the world is covered in pestilence

dream of changes

 

shadows in a street corner

a woman packing fish

in ice and tissue paper

singing a tuneless song

of the last century

 

we have caught a tiger

dressed as a man

and he is familiar

difficult

to put a bullet in his skull

 

while my neighbors

hold him down

in the well-tended grass

I tell them I cannot do

the torture they want

 

I cannot stop them

from doing harm

only watch as the skin

decomposes and falls

the skull white and sticky

 

this is just one neighborhood

there are other tigers

dressed to the nines as men

in every place you have lived

you will see them skinned alive

 

Destiny

 

my old slow passion

returns my friend

 

not an evil presence

my secret heart loves

 

my sign of undoing

my pretty colors

 

please me and you

we grow warm together

 

our loins are burning

we are the engines

 

of our own destruction

of our replacement

 

how long before the end

processed beyond our control

 

despair some of the time

wait until morning to decide

 

in the arms of some

strangers in the woods

 

that old dark sameness

past an immortal sickness

 

into the peculiar joy

of our temporary lives

 

a brief struggle turning

into honey in the end

Contemplating

The grass is bright and green,

crushing the fragrant flowers

with the insistence of nature.

 

All around us in the air,

fragrant mist of morning dew

heavy on the world.

 

The sun shines bright rays of light,

bringing warmth and life

to us, greedy for both.

 

The darkness of the unforeseen future

will come to haunt our waking

and our sleeping again.

 

As long as we have this moment,

accepting that the cards are stacked

against us, we shall not despair.

 

An end makes the time

after the beginning worth

working, laughing, loving.

 

We must remember the heroism

of everyone who has the courage

to do the work they were meant to do.

 

We must light a beacon in order

that others might later come.

They always find a way.

 

Descent

 

A doctor examines my brain

full of bugs and decay, ghosts.

 

“Nothing to fear, don’t mind the ghosts.

They can’t hurt you as long as there is light.”

 

I descend into the void of my darkest self.

I spark a match, giant monsters squirm around me.

 

My light turns into a fireplace in a cozy study.

When I open my eyes, the monsters are my size,

 

And rather polite. We drink tea and read books together

in a circle during the otherwise lonely twilight hours.

 

communication

 

a man has a stroke

and one side of his brain

no longer operates

he paints one-letter symbols

the language of his secret heart

 

a woman on a bus speaks

guttural noises

her frustrated eyes

cannot convey anything

to the other passengers

 

that which can be given

can also be taken away

American Sweetgum

 

roots reach deep

creating small valleys

ridges in the bark

keep time and memory apart

knots eyeing all that pass

ghosts blowing like leaves

whispering in air through garden

 

branches rest for the living

room in her trunk for ghosts of the past

soldiers from the front lines of war

ashes buried deep in soil

roots taking their nourishment

from the remains of our ancestors

blind

 

we bring in the sun and moon

for the rest who are frail

 

we hold the water of life

out to the thirsty animals

 

we are the ones who must

care about others despite

 

a world full to the brim with evil

and good we may yet prevail

 

though the nights are long and cold

we have the shadows of twilight

 

though life itself may seem

meaningless, we will reach out

 

with our bodies bared to the wind

our hearts given to other lovers

 

we must not give up the faint hope

that other half we were searching for

 

our entire lives spent in pursuit

of happiness fleeting as the wind

 

before we are burned into dust

most people my age wouldn’t want

 

to see their death even if there was a way

because we cannot see each other

 

being alive past this weekend

all you lost and lonesome dreamers

 

A Poem For The Future

 

Solomon Joseph Abraham

Odin Thor Loki

Ouroboros Isis Mithra

Persephone Dionysus Aphrodite

Odysseus Agamemnon Priam

Hades Neptune Zeus All-Father

Krishna Vishnu Buddha

Leviathan Python Tiger of the Night

Augustine Benedict Peter

Medusa Hera Methuselah

Saints of the White Cloth

 

Sorcerer Wizard Priest

Alchemist Seer Poet

Rain Mountain River

Ruin City Gate

Skull Gold Cannon

Fire Darkness Blindness

Coldness Numbness Starvation

Desert Cave Tunnel

Abyss Bridge Safety

Hiding Library Knowledge

Guardian Keeper Wisdom

Knight Quest Grail

Home Rainbow Cloud

 

Sun Dragon Lightning

One Eye Seeing

Naming Becoming Speaking

Changing Shadow Reflection

Mirror Mushroom Brain

Psyche Energy Aura

Pyramid Sphinx Tomb

Tablet Hieroglyph Word

Book Papyrus Paper

Curse Charm Blessing

Crocodile Giselle Nile

Road Traveler Message

Forest Temple Altar

Staff Hand Mouth

Castle Ridge Lake

Boat Sea Ocean

Greed Jealousy Ignorance

Death War Pestilence

 

Vision of Buddha

 

he sits and waits for the end of time

in the yogi position crouched on the back

of the deadly cobra whose many heads

form a crown with faces of despair

protecting him from the raging storm

devoid of desire embracing necessity

drawing me to the center my being

 

Thought

a man who weighs supreme

at the time of his death he falls

while weaker men are pulled apart

 

the strong one remains at peace

until falling through every hell

he reaches the foundation below

 

and his weight is deposited there

along with all the heavy ones

their energy passes through the earth

 

as if they were pathways beneath us

the very blood vessels of our mother

she sends up flowers from ashes

 

white against the black of death

the praying monk at the center

can access his thoughts any time

 

breaks into the sanctuary of the grave

red and yellow and blue on a wheel

turning with the prayer caught by wind

 

the spikes of a lover’s thoughts rising

until the prickly head of a badger

expands with ever increasing force

 

strength comes from the outside

layers of consciousness expand

outward the virtue of the nuptial

 

moment the metal and the flesh

the blood is falling slowly as water

the river is drawn toward the end

 

time is a fractal ever more complex

our pleasure in life is complete

oneness with the universe supreme

 

other lights, other sounds observed

a woman sighing in the darkness

our lives mirror the lives of empires.

 

Old Time Religion

 

There is nothing that is not Zeus

Nowhere else to go, and a thousand places left to be

I sat all afternoon at the fountain of Europa and the bull.

He carried her on his back. I watched fellow students

pass talking to friends both real and imagined.

 

After the sun set, the library’s windows across from me

shined like a hundred eyes staring into the void,

daring the darkness to quench all lights on earth,

and all the while the birds kept track from their lofty perch.

 

The Spirit of Solitude

I let my dreams do as they would

they roamed in the nighttime

 

only to come back in the morning

telling me what my secret spirit

 

has seen and heard and felt

across the boundary between us

 

when I wake his voice fades fast

I would do anything to go with him

 

and help him find the right way

and be able to tell myself

 

what I saw and heard and felt

without the distraction of waking

 

I would go into the land of dreams

as long as it took to find peace

 

I will always remember his voice

when my time to dream comes again

 

I run through the clouds at sunset

and chase the wild women there

 

who love to tempt lonely men

like me, though I love them more.

 

The Sea of Possibilities

 

The sea stretches across the horizon

I cross over from one land

on the borderline between light and dark

figures of women and their brothers appear

only to speak for a moment, turn their head,

and disappear. There is something here

they want but they cannot have—

 

the sea of possibilities, the land

on all sides and in all directions

I feel I exist though it cannot be

the land is the same wherever I go

never attached to a single country

for all division is mere sophistry.

 

The Path (mysteries of nature)

 

I climbed the stepped terrace

into the belly of the rock shelter

where thousands of years ago

 

hominids huddled in the dark

I felt the old power living still

dwelling in the cold and wet

 

I looked out from the darkness

I saw the forest illuminated

by the light of the full moon

 

I crossed the river and went left

drew a circle in the dirt with a stick

I bowed to the old power of the cave

 

I felt the moonbeams fall on me

I crawled through tunnels of rock

I lost the trail and followed ridges

 

I wandered for hours without worry

I was lost in a labyrinth at night

I found a new staff at a waterfall

 

I followed the moon westward

I finally felt a familiar coldness

I had come back to the old power

 

I stood just below the limestone cave

I greeted the ancient spirit as a friend

I knew that I had made my way back

 

I found the trail back to the cave

where people I loved were asleep

but I felt as if I were different now

 

a red arrow appeared on a pine tree

but when I shined my flashlight

there was no mark to be seen

 

as I went to sleep I closed my eyes

and saw a flame rising in the dark

and water poured over burning trees

 

The Origin of the Species

 

Eve arose and walked alone through the laurel and oak

It would never be the same after this night

The perfume of life passing in perfect delight

Would not ever come again. Eve’s children

Would never be able to name the true names again.

 

Eve wanted the snake to tempt her.

Satan was just as powerful as Adam,

And much more seductive, slithering

Over the rough ground of the garden,

Searching for a path to the sweetness,

The dark place between her thighs,

That angels had never seen before.

 

The memory of paradise haunted their dreams,

Visions of the trees planted all in rows,

Visions of the animals playing amongst each other,

Each and every creature living without fear

Full of the undiminished blessings of the light of God.

Eve remembered the exquisite joy of Adam’s embrace

Before she allowed the serpent to enter her body

 

And the cool wind blew through the trees,

Bringing the whispering tones of the Lord,

As he said softly to his sleeping children,

”Everything will be right in the end.”

The heart is the body’s energy source

 

A man thinks about his life

Warmth begins in his heart

Spreads outwards through his body

Until all holes are opened

His head breaks open

And there is balance

In his understanding

Of the universe.

 

The Fire of Love

 

I receive a phone call from you

and you say you have another lover

before I can even go through with

the niceties of telephone salutations

 

apologize then you call yourself a bitch

despite some desire to hear you say that

I still feel sorry for your unending despair

your pain is necessary just like our separation

 

there will always be a chance that you

will be able to find happiness again

together apart far away close

for one season we were happy

 

At some time in the near future

dark memories of our past together

will not fill my heart with sorrow

and melancholia will fade

 

I wait for a goddess to come revive

my spirit to new heights of love

in a paradise garden in the twilight

as sun sends its last rays over clouds

Remembering Micah

 

we went that June morning

only two years ago now

to Greenbrier in the mountains

the wind was blowing softly

the air was cool and wet

on our faces

each plant was breathing

and we were breathing too

with the earth

 

he was the one who decided

to sit on the rock

in the middle of the river

she sat with her back to me

and he huddled over as the

Beatles played on our boom box

 

he was by himself yet at one

with the nature all around us

his place in the world

was a little more temporary

than our own

the warmth of the sun above

reflected from the stone below

our greedy bodies glowing

we were looking for some sign

that there was something real

besides our petty tragedies

our endless sighing and aching

there was something beyond

suffering and darkness and fire

 

we three were happy together

that summer day long ago

in the mountains we loved

our bond will bend and twist

along with the wind and the rain

but it can never be broken

by distance death or dissolution

 

Reflection

 

when I look in the mirror

there is an older man

another one behind him

so on down a long line

until I cannot see the end

my father and grandfather

great and great and great

a slow insistent pride grows

a need that must be satisfied

to sow my seeds in soil

so another will spring up

and take on a mantle of pride

wearing it to his adulthood

when he sees his reflection

I will be there waiting

Perhaps Singing in the Rain

The man climbs the hill alone

in the cold night rain. Dampness

clings to his clothes, his body.

Water on all sides bears down

but he doesn’t care. He tries

to pay attention to scenery.

Raindrops freeze in the glow

of a street light etching

the slanted fall of the drops,

The cold works its way

under the skin into muscles,

bones. For a moment he knows

why he’s walking through muck,

not protected from the rain all around.

Warmth flows from inside, deep

and within the dusty chambers

of his heart, hidden from the cold.

 

Peace

 

sometimes civilization requires

not gloating in times of victory

sometimes it requires knowing

when you have already lost

 

their god told them they’re right

but with a healthy heart we know

they have chosen the path of hate

now we must make the wrong right

 

knowledge of atomic energy has shaken

us from our slumber and threatening

to destroy us all in one final moment

as the world expands and contracts

 

we cannot hope to survive our technology

unless we start to learn how to take care

of our physical home as if we just might

be respectful to the land and sea and air.

 

Past Lives

 

I was hand in hand

with your glowing spirit

we explored all the lights of the sky

without fear of darkness

or the possibility that we might fall

that we might wake as human beings today

 

we were one

with the universe

only newly born

we were lighter than air

large as galaxies

we were everything

and everything was included

in our love.

 

Mother’s Song

 

Why do the songs of our mother no longer

reverberate throughout the forest and city?

 

Why do the buzzards in charge

of other peoples’ destiny continue

to writhe like maggots on the corpses

of those who have fallen in battle?

 

The cries of the poor and hungry

call up from the gutter by the street

in the darkness of our own ignorance

because we have put them out of sight.

 

The planet is round and big and wide

there are many different cultures to know

some are suffering more than us or less

but we will have to work together soon.

 

There is no way to regain the magic song

except through cooperation and freedom.

Modern Funerals, Ancient Rites

A dear friend once explained to me that modern life

could be defined with an observation of Etruscan tombs.

 

I am reminded of the silence after any funeral;

family and friends come together one last time.

 

They try to take away the sadness of decay

by thinking that the person is in a better place.

 

Or at the very least he or she no longer suffers

as we suffer the regret of missed opportunities.

 

I wonder how differently our ancestors mourned

before our disguises and the far away explosions?

 

There is a way to define existence without funerals,

no possible way to escape the functionality of death.

 

Merlin’s Dragon

 

There is no easy way to tame the dragon,

for this ancient spirit is wild except

once or twice: a year, a day, a cycle.

 

By choice, alone, with unbridled will.

Snorting, smoke arising from nostrils,

Strength, beauty, spiritual light in dark.

 

The man understands everything.

The weak, downtrodden, sorrowful

the secret that everyone knows,

 

the promise of light, true and wild

there is no way to contain all energy

there is a way to control oneself

 

Air! Land and sea no longer

and we are flying away together

above the clouds, cities of solitude.

 

The way of the gods is our way.

We shall taste the forbidden fruit

and discover everything is allowed.

 

Light of Love

 

After the sunlight disappeared

and the clouds were bursting

with the color of the sunset,

 

I found myself contemplative.

And I remembered a song

and I thought about myself

 

and I was extraordinarily

happy. I don’t know why

I can follow this way of silence

 

but the alternative of voice

is not the kind of thing

I could ever embrace

 

without giving up

the dark cold center

that prepares me

 

for some kind of miracle.

I thought about you

and the way your hair

 

evoked in me a sense

that everything was right

The kind of thing

 

I like to hold onto.

The kind of sacrifice

I have been willing

 

to make. I don’t understand

how you can be this perfect.

When all you touched

 

failed to recognize

the splendid light surrounding

every movement, every motion.

 

I can’t understand

how someone like you

really exists.

 

Lady of the Mountains

 

She lost one of her first born to tuberculosis.

He was only three years old when his throat

closed for the last time. She often told me

I looked like him when I smiled. Seventy years

have passed since this phantom uncle died.

 

One by one the other children died of broken livers,

poisoned by years of drinking Bud and cheap whiskey.

Those that survived to mourn their brothers’ passing

continued to drink, determined to kill themselves

before old age got to them first. They piled beer cans,

sat around them and told stories about Vietnam,

the small victories in their equally small lives.

 

Through all this hard work of raising nobodies,

my great grandmother survived most of her children,

one relic of the time before FDR chose her land as his vacation spot,

of the Appalachian mountains before there was such a thing

as the Smoky Mountains, TVA electricity, and the New Deal.

 

With late night TV reruns playing in the background,

she stops reading, bends down to get the snuff tin

as the tall dark and handsome man sweeps the buxom

young virgin away to his impregnable tower.

She wipes away the brown mucous from her nose,

turns the page and smiles to think of eternal peace.

 

Ghosts

 

Through my window I see the hundred-foot Sequoyah.

The cathedral steeple on the left, tall walls on each side.

Blood red clouds cover the horizon so I move my bed.

Outside these cursed walls the sky is clear and blue.

 

A Jewish girl died under the floor seventy years ago;

Every night she wanders the hallways of this huge building,

searching for her mother taken by the Germans

watching over those who dare to dream in her domain.

 

A Nazi pilot crashed his plane into the courtyard,

screamed in burning metal and buried without blessing

under the foundation of a building interrupted by the war.

Whispers in the wind of the garden float up to my window.

 

I sit in the garden under the Sequoyah; the leaves

fall down at my feet in patterns of light and dark

pigeons shuffle and spread their wings on the gutters.

In the breeze I hear something that might be language.

 

Full Moon

 

Far from that fatal phase

that lonely moon which calls

on the darkest of my souls

and brings a woman to bleed,

 

You with maidens covered

from crown to toe with garlands

dance in a circle in full joy

while the pipers play songs.

 

Your Queen of Earth presides

over the funerals of soldiers

slain on faraway desert sands

while politicians gloat at home.

 

What man shall not be your lover,

if He but understand his own place

in the grand scheme of things

that You are happy to circumvent?

 

Bring us now your light to shine

in dark places where we are too afraid

of what we might find to even tread

upon the hallowed earth of our own graves.

forgotten idols

 

he ran his fingers through the grass

searching for the perfect flower

to make his sister’s time bearable

he dreamed the gates might open again,

 

and his sister’s dogs would drive away

the sounds of helicopters and automobiles

chainsaws and swords cutting through

metal and flesh and the nighttime.

 

The gate was locked from the outside.

He watched the succession of kings in the city,

The genocidal waves sweeping through

Leaving men and women dead in the streets,

 

And always there was a new group of men

To rule over the bones of their predecessors.

He was jealous of the men and women,

Of their ability to fade away gracefully,

 

To give up their place in the world

And transfer energy to their next life.

He would remain for the life of the city,

even when people had long forgotten him.

 

final thoughts

 

my mind is clear

so is my future

I know I will die

I know I will love

sights, sounds, feelings

come together to form

a life, so lucky, to watch

all of this happens to me.

When I am waiting

to cross the dark

river below ground

into unknown territories,

sing to me in the dark.

 

Excellence

 

Teachers can lift the energy

‘When you are ready

Your teacher will appear’

Some have distractions

 

Embracing the West and East

The Dark Lord of Night

Is no stranger, he lives next door

There is no such thing as division

 

Yet I see it everyday with my eyes

The truth is hard to explain

It is so easy to get distracted from it

Anything can be explained in words

 

Down This Road Before

 

I have walked down this road before.

I am struck with how many times

I remember going this way before.

 

When I was a child going home

The school where I was changed

Evaporated with every footstep

 

Closer to the place of my sanctuary

Where my grandmother cooked

And worked on her precious flowers.

 

Where my grandfather would wait

And take me out to find a mystery.

 

Over twenty years of memory

Calling to me from my very blood.

My family came from this road.

 

Before I was here there were others.

I walked with my brother when I was ten

And we played together in the snow.

 

All bundled up with freezing noses.

The weight of so many seasons

Lies heavily on my grandmother

 

As she tries to cope with her loss

And the vast emptiness of death.

The certain coldness it brings.

 

She no longer has her husband

And she changes with the seasons.

Just as I grow older, so does she

 

As we walk down the road together

I start to realize why it doesn’t matter

I was this happy just to be alive

 

My hands and ears and nose cold

But my heart burning with passion

Love for everything and everyone.

 

Death

 

I am told by death to drive myself

to the place where I will be buried.

 

The gas tank is almost empty, so

I pull over, but the station is closed.

 

I look behind me and see the procession.

I am frightened of this, but when I see

 

the graveyard, I am strangely relieved.

I hear the sound of gravestones chiseled.

 

I see a man wearing black who ushers

me onward into my initiation ceremony.

coming together as happy consumers

 

the same hunger to consume

permeates all of our culture

under these florescent lights

the woman carefully chooses food

the man picks out his favorite soda

no matter how much I try to deny

the pull of my body’s needs

here I am with my cart overflowing

a part of this consumer society

 

the effort required to search for

the perfect deal is exhausting

 

Chelsea Hotel #69

for coincidence

 

we came here together under cover of night

in this New York City underground attraction

where Sid Vicious killed Nancy and Dylan

Thomas drank his last twenty shots of whiskey

 

the city lights shining outside rivaled the light

of the hidden stars; concentrated human suffering

rose up from the ashes of this civilization

but it failed to stop me from feeling grateful

 

we were sweating our essences into the sheets

and our fluids further stained the blanket

it was enough that we were here alone together

even we were food for the hotel’s memory

 

I looked out over the rooftops at the skyline

and the gothic cathedral only a few blocks away

I didn’t know that this would be the last of our love

for the moment I was happy with you in the cold

window

laurel leaves reflect glossy sunlight

a cool May breeze comes in

 

and the rain falls slowly

I sit in my chair and listen

 

the birds are singing

I find myself drifting away

 

over the trees and highways and hills

until I reach the clouds

 

glowing yellow from the sun

this may be my last chance to turn back

 

I feel the sun warm my heart

it could be raining below

 

but all I care about is floating

for this moment I am truly happy

 

among the relics of my ancestors

I return to find my life

 

just as shabby as when I left

I scrounge in the trash pile of history

 

all I want to find is a meaning to life

I wish instead of changing places

 

that I might be allowed to return

to that far away cloud paradise

 

the only other time I feel this good

is in the loving arms of my goddess

 

as she holds me in the night

and I cry into her fine silver hair

A Night of Ten Thousand Scents

 

The sky arcs with shooting star trails

tiny points of light toward the horizon

through the tiny cities in the clouds

and over all the world is the smell of hyacinth

 

A purple bush grows out of the ground

A woman’s head grows out of the grass

I see and know what must be done

Her lack of a body does not excuse her

 

From her damage to the earth with her garbage

one among the plants and animals of the earth

as beautiful as the eye of the just and the kind

as beautiful as the moon goddess in Spring

What Is Love?

 

an irrational act

sacred and deadly

it haunts the chambers,

catacombs within

our secret hearts

never letting go

it fights to survive.

 

war

 

the moon is beautiful tonight

a blood red ring rises around it

wondrous white body crescent

only to be seen for a short time

 

the wind is strong from the west

enticing my brothers to follow

those that rode from the mountains

against the day of judgment to the east

 

smoke fills the air in the poppy fields

execution squads with flamethrowers

the villagers burn into dreams of ashes

light as snow blowing in the wind

 

they are now the breath of God

spirits returned to their true home.

Unconditional Love

 

I am eating an egg sandwich but stop in mid-chew

Staring at the ketchup oozing a little over the side–

A gray cat has just bitten the back of my calf muscle.

He looks up and cries so that I feel sorry for him

That’s when I decide to put him in the closet, but

He scratches against the door and then stops.

At first I don’t care, but then I start to get worried.

When I open the door I find him there, waiting for me

To apologize. “Have you learned your lesson?” I say

He squeaks as he gets to his feet, as if it is the most

Difficult thing any animal has ever undertaken.

I bend over and he pushes his little face against mine.

The smell of his fur reminds me of the child inside me

That loves despite the pain that smells like dryer lint.

two human lives

He dances in the bars

the cosmic dance

 

flirts with women

smokes a cigar

 

meets his consort

they go to a garden

 

copulate in the moonlight

and fall asleep together

 

in the misty early morning

she dreams of what it would be like

 

to be in the presence of the divine

without fear or hunger forever and ever.

 

He dreams that they together

Are the one true God.

 

The Dark Moon

 

Staring into your eyes is like

Looking into the space within

The swirling chaos of a black hole.

 

Staring into your eyes is like

Navigating between two moons,

Their crescents facing one another.

 

Staring into your eyes is like

Coming to realize that everything

You ever loved could fall apart

 

In an instant or over long years,

In a ceaseless river of time,

Our lives are always ending.

 

the botany of desire

 

if I am the spark

you are the flame

if I am the pollen

you are the flower

 

I already know your warmth

I feel it in my heart

I have already touched

your soft naked petals

 

like a patient gardener

you showed you how to come

inside the house of mystery

where all love is good

 

I deserve everything

you deserve everything

not just food and water

but sunshine and singing

 

The Bike Ride

 

I, the material construction of love attraction,

the energy that is contained in metabolic processes,

 

hurtle through blank empty space with another entity,

both of us experiencing the same hallucination of reality,

 

only a representation of a higher sense of existence,

but how is it that we both experienced the same illusion?

 

There must be a true physical form separate from spirit.

And what is the meaning of energy equals mass times light?

 

Where is there room for religion within the folds of science,

the emergence of materialism as the next form of spirituality?

 

There are clouds that steal control of my heart from me,

so that I feel alone and over-awed at the majesty of sky,

 

of the world that we are given to perceive every time

we ride down a hill in the city where we live together,

 

taking in the early morning light, bird song, green, blue.

And what is the relation between myself and my companion?

 

Her hair, skin, eyes are separate from my own body, yet

there is a certain connection between our molecules

 

which makes me wonder if there is a real difference

between any two individuals other than an illusion.

The Beginning of History

 

From the beginning of history we learned

How to use art and language to explain

The old battle between our father in heaven

And our mother sleeping beneath the earth

 

Men are more dangerous by far than women

Because mankind is simply a holdover

Of a rebellion against the old way of

The earth mother and the cycles of the moon

 

She ate the offspring of men and the world

Kept growing without war or technology

We did not know what evil would come from

Our father taking over the thunder of heaven

limitations of flesh

 

in my dreams, I have climbed endless staircases

in my dreams, I have listened to a weeping willow

 

in my dreams, I have visited the houses of twilight

where mad and desperate spirits dwell

 

in my life I have traveled the world

but I am always drawn to my homeland

 

in my life I have searched for a goddess

and found nothing but false reflections

 

in my dreams, I am in control of my destiny

in my dreams, there is nothing I cannot do

 

in my dreams, I can walk on the clouds

sky is my playground

Remedies The Beauty

 

And then the Spanish poet said

‘if only the suitors could

simply love Her,

Her scent would not

drive them to an early death,

to taste her open spirit

like food of the gods.’

 

Purgatory

 

I touched your soft body once

I loved you, thought I could die

Just because I saw you dancing

Under a weeping willow last night

In the darkness of the new moon

There is nothing left for me now but

To wait for the beginning of the end

Of our time here on earth together.

past

 

how easy it would be to stand

in front of oncoming traffic

I turn the stove on high

and stand there for a moment

I reach out and grasp the metal

grill of the stove eye

intense pain blossoms

into a slow swelling agony

the shock forces my senses

back into reality

I imagine the surface of our sun

only medium sized

but millions of degrees

hotter than anything on earth

I want to burn without pain

until I am ready to accept

the sadness of not living

Night of a Thousand Blossoms

 

And again my mind turns to you

of the Blossoms and Thousand Fruits

Mother Goddess given form

taken among the women of Earth.

 

Listening to you sing maps

to strange continents magical

I feel that the dragons of old

have been revived in your song.

 

You have revived in your

youthful song the music

of the bards who sang

the universe into existence.

 

Mary

 

sometimes your sorrowful beauty

caused me to fear the universe

as if you were the embodiment

of ecstasy in the womb of death.

 

you said to me “we are all doomed”

it is very hard to change somebody

I wanted to find a rainbow for you

something new in the mountains.

Magic

America was not always called America

Even before the Vikings called it land

Here magic was more than possible

It was part of life. The animals growing

And the sun rising in the morning

Was part of a greater mystery than we

Can understand now. The naming was

Not quite so important. Being alive,

Growing, fulfilling the needs of the body.

We enjoyed these things and we were alive then.

We understood the universe in terms

Of ourselves paired with nature like

A beautiful pair of dancers that never

Lost the beat of the drums nor grew tired.

 

Lovers Walk

The dragon coils itself around me

and I do not show fear for good reason

its scaled tail twirls seductively

in the moonlight of our night together

 

The white tiger stands close by

waiting patiently for the time to strike

ourselves only pawns in the manipulations

of these two ancient lovers and enemies

 

next to each other under the moonlight,

sky full of stars and gods and heroes

I could just let go of my consciousness,

finding a powerful awareness in sensation,

 

time to explore the mystery of my own self,

true love that shares with all, one in particular.

The lion and the lamb shall lie down together,

and someday the world will be at peace.

 

Late Night

In a long chain of young lovers,

each with his or her own

form of sensual stimulation,

love old or new comes up

from the depths of their being,

and they are at one with each other.

 

Later,

they gather in a bed too small

and allow the spirits

of their perfected pure selves

to rise above the surface

of perfected apathy.

 

Once again,

love is possible

in their hearts

and life seems

something more than

indifference.

 

And suffering and sorrow

seem only

a vaguely forgotten memory

of a life spent

in servitude

to the power of fear.

 

Just Another Vision

we walked to the top of the hill

we swam in the pool without talking

we took from the water its soul

 

when we walked back down the hill

in that muggy mid summer evening

the sky was tinged with red and yellow

 

we watched the sun lower slowly

and the colors of the sky turned into

a beautiful burst of light before its end

 

when the color had disappeared

night came quickly over the sky

I turned and stared at your face

 

I cried because I knew that all of us

were doomed to die but blessed

with a beauty that rivaled the sunset

in the modern age

sound of death raining from the sky

screaming banshees of apocalyptic fury

 

I want to escape the need for world war

yet headline after headline we move

 

towards an inescapable final solution

we compare ourselves to Hitler

 

but what about Mengel or de Sade?

we know we skin our prisoners

 

but only after we have killed them

how is that different than eating them?

 

but only the clean races, not the others

we cannot know how many minutes

 

it takes for the lungs to give up underwater

without the research of madmen murderers

 

when the heart stops then so does the brain

we know that without torturing others

 

Foo Lion Speaks at Sunset

You guard the gate, so speak

Tell me what you will

For I wish to pass through

 

There was a strained voice

As if the lion spoke through

Water filling her lungs

 

But I’ve tried so hard to find

What I lost so many years ago

When the world was young

 

Come back when you are ready, but take care

Not to get attached to humans or else

You will not be able to leave them behind

 

The trees stand like sentinels in formation

The sun sets in a blue and red glow of evening

She gives me one final piece of advice

Evolution

 

what we have learned over the past twenty centuries

could fill the libraries of even the greatest Pharaoh

yet everything seems to have a similar destination

we are scared of hoping for change at all costs

 

we would rather stay the same without sacrifice

it matters more if we consume than if we contribute

we are so divided we cannot communicate with one another

even if we try to change the planet back to balance and fail

 

we can still be a lot closer to dying without complaint

secure in our efforts to make the world a better place.

 

Escape

 

And then I drifted up through the poppy fields.

The petals opened and I breathed the secret scent

Of an opium dream under the full light of the moon

And though they wanted my blood I pressed upward.

 

The tulips were content to let me pass, for which

I will be eternally grateful. But the clouds broke

And the rain beat down on my body as it struggled

To escape the earth, to find sanctuary in sky.

dream of power

 

after standing under Satan’s banner

I begin to take on his powers

I can control people’s minds

 

people congregate around me

wanting me to help them

but all I do is help myself

 

finally I ask everyone to hold hands

and I reach out with love instead of hate

and I care for my former enemies

 

I have passed some kind of test

but I don’t know if I can ever

fully escape the source of my strength

 

Deception

 

I remember all of the times I wanted you,

you wanted me to be something I was not.

I remember everything you ever loved,

everything you loved for me to hate.

 

So many things I wish I could say.

slowly I come to think of the past,

and I find myself crying down the sun,

and the moon my mistress is bright.

 

Suddenly I am inside your soft body,

the month of May is not so far away.

I can hardly wait for spring rain,

but the heat of August dries my bones,

 

And I cannot cry because my tears

rise into the air like rain ascending sky.

I love words when they are free.

When they are dark I feel alone.

 

I bring you a bottle of scotch at night,

but you want some more final end.

 

Crows in a Wheat Field

 

She lies in the cadmium yellow wheat shafts,

soft hair and thighs, scented skin and green eyes

lips and breasts for the taking, and giving away.

 

Crows beat their wings and fly against the wind from the west.

I want to lie with her, moaning whispers in darkness,

my ears safe for a moment from the rebukes of the watchers.

 

Contemplation

 

I awake with the sound

of life sighing

out of her mouth

 

I remember the way

her hair smelled

days after she fell

 

from these walls

that encircle a garden

where the spirits

 

of others whom have died

sigh with her spirit

as they float on wind

 

only loud at midnight

the rest of the time

whispering their secrets

 

and spying on those

who are still living

I hear whistling that is her

 

only dreams cross the boundary

between life and death, yet

I lie awake at night waiting

 

for the daylight to come at last

so I can finally close my eyes

and sleep without seeing her.

 

First Night In The Desert

 

I feel the presence of personalities which are not human

They are in the rocks, sand, trees, and air – everywhere!

I have only been in the painted desert for a few days

And yet it seems I have always been here, never outside

The life I once lived was only a preparation for this experience

The wind brings the voices of the ancient ones to my ears

I see that which is not there and yet is behind reality

My whole idea about what constitutes reality is changing

I let the spirits enter and inhabit my physical body

And I draw strength from their natural freedom of thought

They are much older than we humans have yet to comprehend

They exist within every feature of the landscape here

And with every breath I become closer to their breath

Pure mind, pure spirit untrapped by the bonds of flesh

They do not wish to hurt us or help us live our lives

They simply are what they are and we can coexist with them

I respect deeply the power that this sacred land holds

Many humans in the past have used this energy-power

Warriors and peace-makers, priests and outcasts

All are welcome here if they are respectful of the land

There is no such thing as good and evil for all is one

The Great Spirit has manifested in a peculiar way here

The beauty of the scenery is magnificent and opens hearts

There is an aura of deep calm and relaxation here

My barriers are down but my guard is up

I have no fear of death or evil or good while I still live.

 

Identity

 

Only me, a part of nature, and still I hear you calling

I do not pretend to understand your transcendent nature.

I only wish to be your loving devotee.

Sing to me of the past and future so I may mark these visions down

For in this moment of inspiration I feel you rushing within me.

The wind is your whisper, and your embrace.

I do not pretend to know your limitations, the causes for sorrow.

I only want to be a part of your joy too.

Do not deprive me of the joy your presence brings.

Do not cloud my senses with illusion, for I long to sense only you.

Thank you for everything you have given and taken away.

I am nothing without you and filled to the brim when you are near.

The moon, stars, and planets I offer to you

Though they are already yours. My goal is to surrender everything.

What good is any fleeting grasp at wealth or fame?

In an universe fated to die, or else live on forever

Why should I care for anything except your favor?

Surely you are the reservoir of all pleasure

And the enchanter of all living beings.

I bow to you again and again, and circle you forever,

Never tiring of singing your beauty

Or longing to come closer to your hidden form.

Sing to me always, I pray, though I am unqualified to appreciate such divine story

What fame and fortune you bring I shall happily give away

For the one prize I hold above all others:

Your sweet kiss brought upon the wind.

 

Sweet Auspiciousness

 

Each day we are blessed with the sun rising

Our physical bodies vibrate with light

We shine in ecstasy in summer

And winter gives us time to contemplate

The full moon glows in our brains

We receive energy from the universe

We are never alone in our sorrow

We are constantly confused about the truth

Mountains of truth remain during storms

What we cannot have today will come

Our souls are tied to Earth until we are satisfied

Now we have the chance to help

We have earned our liberation but choose to stay

Bodhisattvas of Compassion are we all

The world needs a higher vibration of love

The way to salvation is assured for the humble

We only need to surrender to our own destiny

We find that the Divine Mother contains us

She meets the consciousness in our brain and we are free

No longer to be I and me but only the one reality

Earth has a long way to go to reach transcendence

We have the opportunity to change things drastically

We are shifting to this higher center of love even now

There is nothing we can gain from holding to the old

Only disease flows from the ones in control

When we let go of our material possessions we gain all

Having everything we realize we want nothing

We become as God/Goddess Him/Herself

Beyond duality, we become the great I am that I am

And there is no longer any cause for fear.

 

Leaving My New Home

 

In this forest paradise we found a true community

On the outside we know it will be harder to live

We search for the force that exists outside of us

We are separated from our best friend far above

We have the choice of being a servant or associate

As long as we are here on Earth we are under illusion

We can exist in the bliss of knowledge always

Wherever I am is where I am supposed to be

Every day we relive the pastimes of the spirit world

Even though we are moving far away mile by mile

 

We can bring this sense of belonging everywhere

The Rainbow Light of our spiritual masters shines onward

I play in the mountain streams and pathways

I eat with my brothers and sisters in a circle

We pray together for world peace every day

Each waking moment spent in full awareness

I pass through the toxicity of my own body

I heal every aspect of my physical state

I find a connection with the Supreme

I feel the unconditional ecstasy of Krishna

I begin to understand His voice in my heart

His love affair with Radha makes sense

They unite in me as the transcendent personality

Whatever we can imagine so do they impart

That which I see with form is of that same universality

I am changed into a puppet on strings for Him/Her

I can know myself in the spiritual world already

The part of me that is here is only a fraction

Everywhere and for all time I am whole

I cry out to my father and mother eternally.

 

*****

 

Everlasting Starflower

 

everything

in-between

 

inspire me to change the world

you, me, & we

create

 

lovers

mind, spirit, & body

energy & matter

 

beyond

transcendence

pleasure

pain of separation

united

 

diverse

maps

consciousness

landscape

understanding

 

remember

you, me, & we

create

 

everything

in-between

infinity of universes

dimensions of space & time

encapsulated in a breath

conscious & perceptive

down, up, & all around

 

layers & scales

green dragon

nature spirits

giants in the fields

verdant undergrowth

 

people made out of fire

people that are half cat

forest desire triumph

mountains survive

desire joy sorrow

 

i want

my friends

squirrels & guardians

robins, bluebirds, & ravens

wake me from sleepwalking to greater dreams

 

complexity the same

everything is changing

everything emerges

maps of consciousness

unity within diversity

 

unity within diversity

voids & superclusters

stars, galaxies, & universes

eternal change discovery

creativity & organization

 

paradox labyrinth of mind

mirror of self

magic & religion

dark & light

micro & macro

 

duality of mind & body

unity of understanding

transcendence

everything is a center

everything takes its choice

 

diversity of life & love

pattern & ecstasy

music

scientific creativity

creative living

 

science of dragons

rabbits & pigs

people, places, & perspectives

connections between & among

networks

 

chaos in order & order in chaos

relativity

that is my perspective

my view from center

the wheel of life & imagination

 

fractal mandala of eternity

constantly changing into itself

entropy & emergence are the same

two sides of the same force

creation, preservation, & destruction

 

the wheel of life turns a spiral evolution

dynamic fractal growth & interconnection

life community information

network of light communication

commune of holistic systems

sustainable development

 

integration of humanity

nature discovery & remembering

mind/soul/spirit of nature

creation/invention/life

rediscovery of interconnection

 

all that is

I want

all good things

who what when where how why

imagine existence asking

 

self, community, & world

relationship connection balance peace

 

everlasting starflower

 

poems & stories

individuals & groups

immediate

visceral

present

 

i want to remember

the way things were

in the past

work towards the future

look for synthesis

 

create

presence

perspective

focus

life over art & art over life

 

infinity of universes

dimensions of space & time

encapsulated in a breath

conscious & perceptive

down, up, & all around

 

everlasting starflower

 

self, community, & world

 

layers & scales

green dragon

nature spirits

giants in the fields

dwarves in the undergrowth

 

people made out of fire

people that are half cat

forest desire triumph

mountains survive

i want

 

i want

my friends

squirrels & chipmunks

robins, bluebirds, & ravens

wake me from dreams to greater dreams

 

complexity

everything is changing

everything emerges

maps of consciousness

unity within diversity

 

unity within diversity

clusters & superclusters

stars, galaxies, & universes

eternal change discovery

creativity & organization

 

paradox labyrinth of mind

mirror of self

magic & religion

dark & light

micro & macro

 

duality of mind & body

unity of understanding

transcendence

everything is a center

everything takes its choice

 

diversity of life & love

pattern & ecstasy

music

scientific creativity

creative living

 

science of dragons

rabbits & pigs

people, places, & perspectives

connections between & among

networks

 

chaos in order & order in chaos

relativity

that is my perspective

my view from center

the wheel of life & imagination

 

fractal mandala of eternity

constantly changing into itself

entropy & emergence are the same

two sides of the same force

creation, preservation, & destruction

 

the wheel of life turns a spiral evolution

dynamic fractal growth & interconnection

life community information

network of light communication

commune of holistic systems

sustainable development

 

integration of humanity

nature discovery & remembering

mind/soul/spirit of nature

creation/invention/life

rediscovery of interconnection

 

all that is

I want

all good things

what

imagines & exists

 

self, community, & world

 

everlasting starflower

 

*****

 

The Philosophy of the Ancients

 

Transdisciplinary Education & Outreach

Multicultural issues & Environment

Peace studies & Psychology of Human Beings

Chaos Theory & Information Sciences

Positive Social Environmental Change

Human Rights & Systems Ecology

Integrative Wisdom & Knowledge

Libraries & Ivory Towers & Beyond

Inside the Hearts & Minds of Real People

Living Implicate Order Transcending Space-time

More than two categories of knowledge

More than two choices, except when only one

 

Five Dimensional Creative Perspective

Structural & Symbolic Happiness

Internal & External Relationships

Individual & Collective Network

Ethics, Politics, Interdisciplinary Psychology

Environment & Society of Human Beings

Computers & Artificial Intelligence

Breaking barriers & distributing control

Democracy & Human Civil Rights

Everything is important, everything is real

 

******

 

Magic Words

 

Guardian Storm River Life Abyss Creation Imagination Black Hole Chaotic Heart Dancing Star Tunnel Consciousness Awareness Action Vision Order Chaos Sun Moon Ocean Fire Sky Divine Guardians Cat Turtle Vision Human Raven Butterfly Hawk Star Water Air Earth Energy Spirit Wholeness Peace Love Ecology Equality Balance Green Blue Turquoise Purple Diamond Silver Gold Shadow Light Water Earth Fire Air Spirit Vision Thought Jade Onyx Opal Amber Violet

 

Lapis Coral Marble Diamond Lotus Love Peace Health Ecology Understanding Justice Compassion Integration Music Life Duality Individual Ineffable Mystery Beauty Sublimation of Conflict Waking Dream Vision Consciousness Growing Transforming Becoming

Light and Shadow Golden Dust Moon Blue Sky Morning Dark Five Dimensions Chorus

Star Children of the Forest Island Avatar World Hero Appearance Serpent King and Queen

 

Night Day Paradise Water Lovers Twins Quartet Bull Balance Horns Ladder Staircase Doorway

Star Butterfly Blue Green Turquoise Purple Moon White Light Sky Spirit Seven Dimensional

Intuitive Earth Water Emotion Imagination Soul Fire Breath Truth Knowledge Wisdom Life Vision

Perception Consciousness Thought Words Communication Integration Individuation

Circle Wheel Cycle Seas Centuries Mountain Valley Shadow Moon Sailor Ship Green Heart

 

Begin Again And Again Purple Blue Flowers Life Mandala Circle Wheel Cycle Turning

Teach Tradition Novelty Love Towards Understand Know Imagine Human Educate Spirit Clouds

Sail Fly Sing Learn Love Act Dance Open Self Knock Door Truth Realize Connect

Music Sound Vibrate Spheres Commune Language Art Write Draw Mathematical Hierarchy

Structure Circle System Distribute Direct Network Democracy Represent Mirror Reflect Light

 

Relate Above Below Thought Emotion Beyond Within Numbers Colors Words Reality

Wonder I We You Me Us Discover Create Depart Journey Adventure Far Away Yet Close

 

Dark Eyes Man Woman Child Love Flames Hands Feet Knowledge Alchemy

Black Hole Chaotic Heart Dancing Star Tunnel Consciousness Awareness Action Vision

Order Chaos Sun Moon Ocean Fire Sky Divine Guardians

Cat Turtle Vision Human Raven Butterfly Hawk Star Water Air Earth Energy Spirit Wholeness

 

Star Children of the Forest Island Avatar World Hero Appearance Serpent King and Queen Abraxas

Night Day Paradise Water Lovers Twins Quartet Bull Balance Horns Ladder Staircase Doorway

Star Butterfly Blue Green Turquoise Purple Moon White Light Sky Spirit Seven Dimensional Birds

Intuitive Earth Water Emotion Imagination Soul Fire Breath Truth Knowledge Wisdom Life Vision

Perception Consciousness Thought Words Communication Integration Individuation

Circle Wheel Cycle Seas Centuries Mountain Valley Shadow Moon Sailor Ship Green Heart

Peace Justice Hearth And Every Side Has Another Side Waiting Other Beginning End

Begin Again And Again Purple Blue Flowers Life Mandala Circle Wheel Cycle Turning

 

*****

 

House of Transformation: Journey Through Darkness To Light

 

House of evolution change transformation progression perfection

Ghosts of wars and landscapes and people that have been will be here

Fight memories and betrayed unity of humanity and nature

Tired arguments against future world new generations

I cannot stop hoping caring peace to lost souls

I can find a way out sometimes I remember the perfect door key

Wall I push through disguises and hidden tunnels and pathways

Arrows of light vision imagery guide me to freedom open sky

Blackness and brightness of night wispy clouds shapes escape

I fly friends family time getting away from fear hate apathy fatalism despair

One that is my self perhaps is having difficulty and I urge onwards into air

Reunite we others walk run swim fly crawl the meeting place

I remember I left diamond in the sacred mountain lake of life water

Circle heart magic where we gather and I show what I have found beautiful jewel

Fight over control someone takes and gives away the treasure mystery

I am sorrowful force and feeling afflicted by greed and shortsightedness

Those that can follow consciously apologize part as friends and partners

I notice that there is a very fast stream of creatures of all types traveling a forest path

I decide to follow the progression of animals and spirits moving

I realize that there is no reward better than experiencing their journey

Great mother tree of heaven earth underworld crossroads and axis mundi

Peace Love Future World Balance

The Progression of Historical Ages of Humanity

Ancient symbols of change and chaos depicting figures from our ancestral memory:

Cow, Mother Earth — Lucifer, Shadow — Pisces, Sacrificial Lamb …

Back and forward from today for thousands of years.

Gold, Silver, Bronze, Iron, Information — always changing.

Humanity continues to grow into its potential for enlightenment.

Whether or not there is a cosmic plan for us does not matter.

Consciousness flowers and produces seeds for the future.

End of one age is beginning to another and we are lucky to see the changes.

Even if we do not understand, we still have the opportunity to witness the world.

We can save the world and ourselves in the process by allowing the future to exist.

Without interfering with the progression of ages and future generations.

The traditional meaning of conservation and not inflicting our flaws on children.

We can explore the universe in peace and prosperity for all if we only desire.

The ancient cards may become antiquated, our divisions unnecessary.

Through the houses of death and life time continues as arrow and circle.

Freedom the great potential and necessity for humanity to grow.

Individuality and memories of our past must be reconciled for balance.

We may choose to cover the tattoos of past triumphs and mistakes.

Or show our regrets with pride and intimacy, without promoting destruction.

The Philosopher’s Stone & Elixir of Immortality

The Magic Mirror — Language of Love

Ocean & Moon & Star Goddesses of Beauty

All Together Everything United Evolving

Connected & Related, Becoming & Changing

Universe of Duality & Transformation

Great Learning & Potential for Understanding

All Is One, But Different, Distinct, Interesting